Present. If your parents were able to break through the chaos of adult problems and find moments of eye contact and present warmth, the message was, you are valued, you belong here. If olympic strides were needed to gain engaged connection with your parents, you began to wonder, do I matter here? If thoughts and feelings were dismissed, minimized, or even ignored, steel footprints for 30-story buildings began to form for protection. It would be easy for a child to begin to wonder if they are really alone here. The impact is found in your current adult relationships. Do you live with a sentiment of value and belonging? Is your 30-story building fully built-out with stainless-steel appliances and a doorman? Journal Prompts: My parents were present when... My thoughts mattered when... I needed my parents to be present when...
Tag: Therapy
The Impact of Parents, 1
There are no perfect parents. There are human parents. And, there were parent experiences that helped you find a step ladder to reach the top shelf instead of walking past while you were reaching and straining from your tippy toes.Why does your parent experience matter? It was your first social relationship. It laid the tracks … Continue reading The Impact of Parents, 1
A Journal Prompt for Dropping the Ball
Does dropping the proverbial ball need to define you? Might you shelf your character assassination for the acknowledgement that there is much happening outside of your control. Journal Prompt: ...is out of my control
Gaps
You respond to what is missing. Life will absolutely leave gaps. If you spend your life arranging everything around what is missing, you live in reactivity. What would it look like if the gaps were not in the driver’s seat? Journal Prompts: I arrange around... If my gaps didn’t drive, I would...
Journal Prompt
Mental piling is when you stack and track several things at one time. Even small triggers will push you over the edge if you are always riding near your capacity. Your emotional system has limits, even if you have trouble with them. Journal Prompts: I am currently tracking and stacking... My emotional system says the limit is...
Journal Prompt
Almost Decisions
Self-Talk, 9
And sometimes your self-talk is there to loudspeaker that it is time to act. It's rolled around and nagged enough. It is time to try something and give yourself the opportunity to fail or move forward. You need more information than what is left alone in your head. Journal Prompts: If I listened to the nagging I would... I most fear...
Self-Talk, 8
When you feel cornered by your self-talk, it's a sign that it is more interested in control than the context. Journal Prompts: The last time I felt cornered by my self-talk was... I feel controlled by my self-talk when... My self-talk missed the context of...
Self-Talk, 7
Atrocious self-talk needs a bit of distance to see its aggression and pattern. Distance can happen when you personify your self-talk as its own entity. Who from your past does your self-talk remind you of? What movie character do you hear? What would it smell like? If it had texture, what would it feel like? One of my favorites was someone personifying their self-talk as a Game of Thrones character being shamed and forced to walk naked. Or another, describing their self-talk smelling like the aftermath of burning. Or, the texture of a scratchy sweater you weren't allowed to take off. Journal Prompt: Personify your self-talk.
Mental Health & Journaling 