Acceptance. Parental acceptance is an anchor for a developing child. If acceptance was given in scraps, you may not have had a strong sense of self, especially in contrast to someone who was given it in abundance. Child experiences easily can become adult experiences. Thankfully, awareness matters, and you have the capability to gather a positive sense of self as an adult. The first stop, grieve what you were not given. Journal Prompt: My parent accepted... My parent definitely did not accept... I needed to be accepted for... Accepting myself as an adult is...

Crisis. If you watched your parents leapfrog from crisis to crisis as a child, you learned to live with a nervous system trained to be hyper-vigilant. Your body is unfamiliar with rest and safety. Your nervous system needs conscious re-direction to establish safety, when safety is indeed present. Journal Prompt: My nervous system needs re-direction when...

Functioning. If you watched your parents over-function, there's a good chance you learned to harness the skill. Over-functioning is taking responsibility for the thinking, feeling, and doing of others. It's a silent killer in that repetitive exposure in formative years falsely communicates that over-functioning is a duty, not a choice. It proclaims, this is the right way to be in a relationship. It's you at the airport hauling your luggage and insisting on hauling another adult's luggage, while they stroll hands-free. But over-functioning is never a long-term strategy, eventually you get tired and angry. Eventually you have to go over the little bump on the jet bridge and your insistence of kindness turns to anger and resentment. You can unlearn the compulsion to over-function. You are allowed to walk through the airport with only your luggage. You can practice tolerating the anxiety of watching another adult manage what they decided to bring. Journal Prompts: I over-function when I feel... I watched my parents... I want to unlearn...