I geared up to put a winged, body-armor-like massage belt back into its original case. We gave it to my mother-in-law for Christmas, who then gave it back. I was surprised to find that I didn't struggle to put it back into its home. Most of my experiences returning something back into its original packaging involve squishing and violence. But this bag fit what it needed, no forcing. I immediately wanted to call the manufacturer and express my gratitude hoping that, someone, somewhere would let the design gods know that this is a necessary endeavor to repeat. Because forcing is frustrating and takes all your energy. Sustainable community is not forced. Journal Prompts: I force... ...does not feel right.
Tag: Stress Management
Finding Community, 5
Healthy community necessitates healthy separateness. - Experiment with leaving behind the pressure facade of sameness. Wonder about tolerating perceived threats of differences. - Resist the impulse to meld into another. Find the ground under your two feet and connect at the hand. Journal Prompts: I have a difficult time tolerating differences like... If we are the same then...
Finding Community, 4
Everyone has anxiety about connecting, ease yours with parallel activities. Parallel activities are shared experiences that do not require the pressure of constant eye contact. They share focus with a beautiful art piece or reaching for a tennis ball, loosening the choke hold you have on expectations of yourself and others. - Journal Prompts: I have anxiety about... I ease my anxiety with... I expect myself to... I expect others to...
Finding Community, 3
If you are drawn to quiet rooms and introspection, dance clubs will not be where you find sustainable community. Being honest and realistic is necessary to finding community. Without honesty, you force what is unnatural. You grow frustrated and resentful, widening the gap between your core and your outside display (read, the opposite of a sense of belonging). Experiment with me. I am weekly impressed with the meet-ups that exist in the world. For fun, look up your actual interests: https://www.meetup.com/ This is a sample of groups happening this week: AI & Appetizers Puzzle meetup and swap For the introverts and shy group (Online) Astrology for beginners Coffee and Chess Job hunting group Pugs in the Park Food Prep 101 (Online) People are looking for you. - Journal Prompts: I am interested in... I am not interested in...
Finding Community, 2
The scarcity echo that there are not enough people around interested in connecting is avoidance. It is far more likely that your anxiety about connection is a barrier rather than a limited supply. Journal Prompts: Most people... I feel anxious about connecting when...
Finding Community, 1
Your urge for a sense of belonging is a biological feature, not something you choose to add a la carte. - Journal Prompts: I belong... I want to experience belonging...
Your Relationship with Alcohol, 9
Arguably, demonizing alcohol is an overcorrection. This vilifying perpetuates feelings of shame and hiding behaviors. The impulse to hide is a signal. Shame becomes big and scary and morphs into tunnel-like vision. Often, you are left in a corner, with minimal square footage to look fairly at your experience. Journal Prompts: I tend to hide... The corner feels like...
Your Relationship with Alcohol, 8
Alcohol can be euphoric and bonding, and alcohol can be miserable and isolating. - Journal Prompts: Alcohol is bonding when... Alcohol is isolating when...
Your Relationship with Alcohol, 7
Your body is designed to naturally release good feeling chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. Overtime, if you have artificially stimulated the release of these chemicals through drinking, your body chemistry adjusts. Your body learns that it does not have to make these chemicals naturally, it can rely on alcohol consumption to do the work. From this perspective, your brain is solving a problem by drinking. For most, this chemical experience can be reset. - Journal Prompt: I feel good when... - For more information: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826822/ For help: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-support
Your Relationship with Alcohol, 6
Problematic drinking does not station itself nicely on the outside rim of your relationships. It shows up within and around your relationships, like a textile pattern, predictably. It shows up within and around your relationships, like a textile pattern, predictably. - Journal Prompts: My relationships + drinking means... I notice a pattern of...