Avoidance and Other Distractions

The act of avoidance is found in relationships. Avoidance shifts attention, keeps us outsourced, and removes us from seeing our own issues and doing our own work. Avoidance can be expressed in "if only" statements. If only _________ was fixed. If only they did ______________. If only they said _____________. If only they were__________. What … Continue reading Avoidance and Other Distractions →

I Choose to Move On

The vicious cycle of "stuck" holds many hostage with bad memories, mistakes, and regrets. The burden of hurt and pain is genuine. I watch victims work hard to move on. But they struggle, they get trapped. Internal experiences keep them from letting go and moving on; yet I continue to see the desperation to move on and … Continue reading I Choose to Move On →

Maintenance

I took my daughter for an evening bike ride this week. For me, it's never just a bike ride. My mind can't help itself but drift to therapeutic analogies. As we took a ride, we quickly ran into a squeaky wheel situation. The single brake I had been relying on to not be squeaky, … Continue reading Maintenance →

The Walls We Build Between Us, Part 1

There are many ways to get off track in a relationship. If we are honest, we can own our part in the failures we have experienced and mistakes we have made in relationships. The goal of this next series is to connect with common ways couples get off track. Today we will look at “Stonewalling.” … Continue reading The Walls We Build Between Us, Part 1 →

Myth: Being Successful in Relationships is Natural

It’s normal to experience struggle, conflict and disappointment in relationships. Part of our human experience comes through interacting, working through and solving conflict with each other. What is less normal is investing time, research and planning into relationships. Today I want to connect with the idea that we all are not always instinctively good at … Continue reading Myth: Being Successful in Relationships is Natural →

Identifying Codependency: When close is too close

A desire of mine is to bring an educational piece to my counseling. Personally, I grow a lot more through education and definitions. I imagine there are several other like-minded individuals out there. Today, I want to talk about codependence. This topic is near and dear to me as I have struggled with it. Learning … Continue reading Identifying Codependency: When close is too close →