Manipulation, 9

Behind manipulation is often an intolerance of autonomy. What would it be like to resist the constant work of leveraging and influencing? How does your movement in the world change when you tolerate autonomy? Journal Prompts: I find it difficult to tolerate... Without constant influence, I would...

Manipulation, 8

Messing with someone's emotional state with the intention to guide your agenda is manipulation. It can't be understated that some folks have only learned to ask for what they need in this manner. The thought process might be, Only when there is a sad story can I lay bare a need. It is okay to call out the need directly if you are feeling manipulated. You are allowed to ask people to speak directly. Journal Prompts: My emotional state feels messed with when... If I ask for direct communication...

Manipulation, 7

Using emotional pressure to enforce a specific perimeter of behavior is manipulation. For example, I will berate and shame you in front of people if you behave outside of my desires. This is different from a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary acts from a place of value and clear language, not reactive and emotional revenge. A boundary says, this is not okay with me and then takes action inservice of emotional safety. Manipulation hovers and attempts to control behavior with emotional aggression. - Journal Prompts: Instead of attempts at manipulation, I need to set a boundary with... It feels emotionally aggressive when...

Manipulation, 6

Withdrawal can be a form of manipulation. Contrary to the common name, "silent treatment," this type of withdrawal is actually screaming. Withdrawal manipulates by loudly threatening attachment and punishing with isolation. At exhaustion—Overrun with internally explosive and festering emotions—the manipulated will raise the white flag in surrender. - Journal Prompts: I withdraw when... My withdrawal is actually screaming... I raise the white flag when...

Manipulation, 5

If you continue to do the bidding of a manipulator, they have no reason to change. Their method works. - Journal Prompts: I feel resentful when I... I continue to...

Manipulation, 4

Fear attracts manipulation. If you ask directly for what you need, there is often more human exposure than one would prefer to tolerate. Manipulation offers that your humanity remain hidden and protected. - Journal Prompts: Exposing my needs means... I prefer to protect...

Manipulation, 3

Manipulation often employs the emotional intensity of guilt. If you can make someone feel bad, it's far easier to get them to do something. - Journal Prompts: I feel guilty when... Guilt pushes me to...

Manipulation, 2

To address manipulation, we must first understand it. At its core, manipulation is often functional—it's a way people get their needs met. Users of manipulative language often struggle to know how to ask for what they need. A compassionate interpretation might be that this is how someone learned to get needs met within their family of origin. Perhaps direct and assertive language was either unwelcome or even viewed as disrespectful. While unhealthy, there are understandable parts. Journal Prompts: I don't know how to ask for... Direct language is...

Manipulation, 1

Manipulation is the unfair use of emotion to influence your agenda. Journal Prompts: I am quick to feel bad when... It feels unfair...

Boundaries Toward Good, 9

The cumulative good of boundaries is confidence that you have influenced the factors within your control. Journal Prompts: I can influence... I do not have influence over...