Emotional Misuse, 7

Degrade. Using words that decay the soul, scrapes power from the bottom of a cement bucket. There are no conditions or environments that justify degrading the people you love. Speaking to degrade is about you, not the person in front of you. Journal Prompt: The power of degrading has...

Emotional Misuse, 6

Alignment. Emotional misuse happens when you utilize alignment with others to create a power posture against another. It is now 2 versus 1. You are misusing your relationship. And your are hiding. Journal Prompt: I tend to align with...

Emotional Misuse, 5

Responsibility. Emotional misuse happens when there is a pattern of offloading responsibility. It can't always be something or someone else, sometimes it's you. Avoiding responsibility is avoiding yourself. Choosing to deflect responsibility misuses the space where you form intimacy and trust in your relationships. Journal Prompts: I avoid... I avoid... I avoid... I avoid... I avoid...

Emotional Misuse, 4

Gaslighting. Gaslighting takes advantage of intimate influence. When you intend to leave someone questioning themselves and their experience, it's gaslighting. It's manipulative, there is an agenda, there is low tolerance for someone to express themselves authentically. Gaslighting is not respectfully challenging and having a conversation about diverse perspectives. Gaslighting challenges the root of a person and gnaws at their self-trust. Gaslighting harms by promoting a narrative of self-doubt. Healthy relationships claim territory in respecting the perspectives of people they love. Journal Prompts: I try to influence... It's difficult for me to tolerate...

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 5

Fragile. Grief is feeling fragile in places you hope to keep sealed and intact.  Like trying to hold on to eggs while riding a roller coaster. Journal Prompt: I feel fragile…

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 4

Guilt. Grief is a magnet for guilt. You feel guilt that you did too little. Guilt that you did too much. Guilt that you survived. Guilt about your feelings, missed opportunities, and mistakes. When these feelings morph to a cemented state of being it chains you to the past and prevents forward movement. Journal Prompt: I feel guilt about…

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 3

Threatened. Grief pummels emotional stability. Like yoga on a paddle board, the emotional self wobbles through normalcy in the midst of grief. Already uneasy, emotional collapse threatens in harsh comments, the mundane, in mistakes and disappointments, and unnecessary commercials. It's no wonder you keep a distance from your emotions. Why wouldn't you? Journal Prompt: I feel threatened by...

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 2

Senses. Grief is experienced through your senses–your hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch. A familiar song. Unexpected fluorescent lights. The smell of Autumn. Bites of cheesecake. The texture of a blanket. What you smell, see, taste, hear, and touch show up in your memory of what has been lost. Use your senses to feel your way through grief. Journal Prompts: My grief sounds like... My grief looks like... My grief smells like... My grief tastes like... My grief feels like...

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 1

Without. Bobbing in feelings of disconnection and isolation, grieving is learning to live without. It's learning to live without people you intended to live with. It's watching from the outside the experiences you hoped for. It's missing milestones you expected to meet. Journal Prompt: I am learning to live without...

Fair Fights, 9

Rumination. Conflicts decrease in fairness when you ruminate obsessively. Having a personal perspective, valid. Reflection for personal growth, helpful. Obsessive rumination, hazardous. Obsessive rumination puts you at risk of responding and reacting out of context. This rumination can fuel self-triggering narratives–sunk deep in your history. It may sound like: "You never think of my needs, just like my mom never considered my needs. No one ever considers my needs." Increasing fair conflict comes with rethinking how much mental real estate you are willing to give rumination. Journal Prompt: Rumination tends to lead to...