Boundary Renaissance, 1

Day 1 Boundaries are difficult. Full stop.Before you declare a boundary renaissance, would you first be willing to look inward? Sustainable boundaries are set and (important part) maintained, when you are aware of what is happening internally.Sustainable boundaries are set when you are…willing to be aware.open, not dismissive to body signals.listening and not minimizing your … Continue reading Boundary Renaissance, 1 →

A Journal Prompt for Dropping the Ball

Does dropping the proverbial ball need to define you? Might you shelf your character assassination for the acknowledgement that there is much happening outside of your control. Journal Prompt: ...is out of my control

Gaps

You respond to what is missing. Life will absolutely leave gaps. If you spend your life arranging everything around what is missing, you live in reactivity. What would it look like if the gaps were not in the driver’s seat? Journal Prompts: I arrange around... If my gaps didn’t drive, I would...

Journal Prompt

Mental piling is when you stack and track several things at one time. Even small triggers will push you over the edge if you are always riding near your capacity. Your emotional system has limits, even if you have trouble with them. Journal Prompts: I am currently tracking and stacking... My emotional system says the limit is...

Journal Prompt

Manipulation, 9

Behind manipulation is often an intolerance of autonomy. What would it be like to resist the constant work of leveraging and influencing? How does your movement in the world change when you tolerate autonomy? Journal Prompts: I find it difficult to tolerate... Without constant influence, I would...

Manipulation, 8

Messing with someone's emotional state with the intention to guide your agenda is manipulation. It can't be understated that some folks have only learned to ask for what they need in this manner. The thought process might be, Only when there is a sad story can I lay bare a need. It is okay to call out the need directly if you are feeling manipulated. You are allowed to ask people to speak directly. Journal Prompts: My emotional state feels messed with when... If I ask for direct communication...

Manipulation, 7

Using emotional pressure to enforce a specific perimeter of behavior is manipulation. For example, I will berate and shame you in front of people if you behave outside of my desires. This is different from a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary acts from a place of value and clear language, not reactive and emotional revenge. A boundary says, this is not okay with me and then takes action inservice of emotional safety. Manipulation hovers and attempts to control behavior with emotional aggression. - Journal Prompts: Instead of attempts at manipulation, I need to set a boundary with... It feels emotionally aggressive when...

Manipulation, 6

Withdrawal can be a form of manipulation. Contrary to the common name, "silent treatment," this type of withdrawal is actually screaming. Withdrawal manipulates by loudly threatening attachment and punishing with isolation. At exhaustion—Overrun with internally explosive and festering emotions—the manipulated will raise the white flag in surrender. - Journal Prompts: I withdraw when... My withdrawal is actually screaming... I raise the white flag when...

Manipulation, 5

If you continue to do the bidding of a manipulator, they have no reason to change. Their method works. - Journal Prompts: I feel resentful when I... I continue to...