Manipulation, 2

To address manipulation, we must first understand it. At its core, manipulation is often functional—it's a way people get their needs met. Users of manipulative language often struggle to know how to ask for what they need. A compassionate interpretation might be that this is how someone learned to get needs met within their family of origin. Perhaps direct and assertive language was either unwelcome or even viewed as disrespectful. While unhealthy, there are understandable parts. Journal Prompts: I don't know how to ask for... Direct language is...

Manipulation, 1

Manipulation is the unfair use of emotion to influence your agenda. Journal Prompts: I am quick to feel bad when... It feels unfair...

Boundaries Toward Good, 9

The cumulative good of boundaries is confidence that you have influenced the factors within your control. Journal Prompts: I can influence... I do not have influence over...

Boundaries Toward Good, 8

You set boundaries to get time back. Disappointing people from a place of assertiveness and self-advocacy is different than from anger and reactivity. You are capable of setting boundaries and building tolerance for the disappointment of others. Just because someone is angry, doesn't mean it is your fault. Journal Prompts: I waste time and energy on... When people are angry, I...

Boundaries Toward Good, 7

Self-regulation is a boundary toward less regret. It is accepting emotions–making room for them–instead of fighting to change and suppress them. And then pausing to anchor to your values before choosing action. Journal Prompts: I am impulsive about... The emotion of __________ gets me every time. I try to suppress...

Boundaries Toward Good, 6

A break from feeling responsible for other people's emotions, this is the good you move toward in setting boundaries. Journal Prompts: I feel responsible for... It makes me resentful when...

Boundaries Toward Good, 5

Enough emotional real estate has been given over to re-runs of your past. No one wins when you hold your past self hostage. Your boundary toward good is practicing acceptance of all of your parts. It is about making peace with your limits of influence. You no longer can influence the past. You can choose to invest emotional energy in the present and forward. Journal Prompts: I re-run... I wish I could go back and... My emotional energy... I need to make peace with...

Boundaries Toward Good, 4

When you resist over-functioning in your relationships, you find truth and fairness. You take your fair share of responsibility, no more, and then see the relationship for what it is. Truth is good. Truth is clear. Journal Prompts: If I stopped over-functioning, I would... Fairness would look like...

Boundaries Toward Good, 3

Humans normalize and excuse a whole lot of chaos. Choosing to step back from chaos, fencing off space for calm and predictability, this is the good we move toward with boundaries. Journal Prompt: I normalize the chaos of... My nervous system needs...

Boundaries Toward Good, 2

You set boundaries when you recognize that you have overextended giving. Your boundaries may inconvenience others. Might you validate how much they have inconvenienced you? Boundaries toward good, is boundaries toward less resentment. Journal Prompts: Setting boundaries will inconvenience... Less resentment means...