Author: morningcoffeetherapy

My name is Brooke, I currently practice in the Raleigh area as a counselor for individuals, couples, and families recovering from addiction. Most of my writing comes from morning coffee reflection or a long run. As a disclaimer, my writing is one perspective. While reading, please assume it your responsibility to take what is helpful and leave the rest. Peace. Love. Gratitude. Email Contact: brooke@rnb4counseling.com

Self-Talk, 1

Your internal dialogue—like a news ticker—is self-talk. Sometimes it sounds like your favorite coach. Sometimes it sounds like a dictator. Sometimes it sounds like your wild aunt. Despite your current flavor of self-talk, your behavior and emotional states take note. We all need strategies to remain living the life we want, despite the hijacking attempts of self-talk. Journal Prompts: My self-talk sounds like... My current strategy is...

Manipulation, 8

Messing with someone's emotional state with the intention to guide your agenda is manipulation. It can't be understated that some folks have only learned to ask for what they need in this manner. The thought process might be, Only when there is a sad story can I lay bare a need. It is okay to call out the need directly if you are feeling manipulated. You are allowed to ask people to speak directly. Journal Prompts: My emotional state feels messed with when... If I ask for direct communication...

Manipulation, 7

Using emotional pressure to enforce a specific perimeter of behavior is manipulation. For example, I will berate and shame you in front of people if you behave outside of my desires. This is different from a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary acts from a place of value and clear language, not reactive and emotional revenge. A boundary says, this is not okay with me and then takes action inservice of emotional safety. Manipulation hovers and attempts to control behavior with emotional aggression. - Journal Prompts: Instead of attempts at manipulation, I need to set a boundary with... It feels emotionally aggressive when...

Manipulation, 6

Withdrawal can be a form of manipulation. Contrary to the common name, "silent treatment," this type of withdrawal is actually screaming. Withdrawal manipulates by loudly threatening attachment and punishing with isolation. At exhaustion—Overrun with internally explosive and festering emotions—the manipulated will raise the white flag in surrender. - Journal Prompts: I withdraw when... My withdrawal is actually screaming... I raise the white flag when...

Manipulation, 2

To address manipulation, we must first understand it. At its core, manipulation is often functional—it's a way people get their needs met. Users of manipulative language often struggle to know how to ask for what they need. A compassionate interpretation might be that this is how someone learned to get needs met within their family of origin. Perhaps direct and assertive language was either unwelcome or even viewed as disrespectful. While unhealthy, there are understandable parts. Journal Prompts: I don't know how to ask for... Direct language is...