Expectations.

Unexpressed expectations inflame conflict.

Your partner does not automatically know what you need. Nor, should you expect this automation.

You can hear the resounding, I want them to know what I need, without having to say anything.

It’s not fair to expect what you have not expressed.

It is realistic to expect that you will need to over-communicate (more than twice) your needs, to cut through all the noise in a relationship.

You sit down with your partner, eyeball to eyeball, and use I-statements.

I need 15 minutes to process my feelings.

I am feeling overwhelmed. I need help with _________.

You say what you need and why it is important to you.

I am feeling anxious about our busy life. I need more time to connect, without children, and outside of the work week. This will help me feel more secure while we are passing each other during a busy week.

And then, at another appropriate time, you repeat yourself, without blaming, without being passive aggressive, and not forgetting those blessed I-statements.

You assert what you need.
You don’t suffer in silence hoping your partner will guess what you need.

Journal Prompt: I need to express…