No.

Dr. Becky, a parenting expert, describes boundary setting in her book, Good Inside. Dr. Becky highlights that boundaries are set in our actions. She demonstrates her point by giving a parenting example about typical hitting behaviors with young children.

She explains that the boundary is not set by communicating, “Do not hit your brother”. The boundary is set when you stand between your children, blocking a hit, and saying, “I will not let you hit your brother”.

Do you notice the difference between communicating boundaries and taking action on them?

Adults have similar difficulties with setting boundaries in relationships. Some will invest a lot of energy into communicating boundaries, yet not adequately prepare—mentally and emotionally—for the actions that boundaries require.

Your boundary work happens when your actions advocate for your limits.

Some examples:

• If you have set a boundary that you will not be around substance misuse, you set the boundary by leaving the space when substance is being misused.
• If you have stated you can only help your child financially with $25 dollars this month, your boundary happens when you only send $25 dollars.
• If you intend to limit your time around people who drain your energy, the boundary is set when you leave at your limit.

Manage your energy by taking action on boundaries.

Journal Prompt: I need to take action on my boundaries by…