Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 3

Threatened. Grief pummels emotional stability. Like yoga on a paddle board, the emotional self wobbles through normalcy in the midst of grief. Already uneasy, emotional collapse threatens in harsh comments, the mundane, in mistakes and disappointments, and unnecessary commercials. It's no wonder you keep a distance from your emotions. Why wouldn't you? Journal Prompt: I feel threatened by...

Feeling Your Way Through Grief, 2

Senses. Grief is experienced through your senses–your hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch. A familiar song. Unexpected fluorescent lights. The smell of Autumn. Bites of cheesecake. The texture of a blanket. What you smell, see, taste, hear, and touch show up in your memory of what has been lost. Use your senses to feel your way through grief. Journal Prompts: My grief sounds like... My grief looks like... My grief smells like... My grief tastes like... My grief feels like...

Fair Fights, 9

Rumination. Conflicts decrease in fairness when you ruminate obsessively. Having a personal perspective, valid. Reflection for personal growth, helpful. Obsessive rumination, hazardous. Obsessive rumination puts you at risk of responding and reacting out of context. This rumination can fuel self-triggering narratives–sunk deep in your history. It may sound like: "You never think of my needs, just like my mom never considered my needs. No one ever considers my needs." Increasing fair conflict comes with rethinking how much mental real estate you are willing to give rumination. Journal Prompt: Rumination tends to lead to...

Fair Fights, 7

Willingness. Conflict has a bad reputation. Conflict is widely considered a negative indication about a partnership. While it absolutely can be negative and damaging to a relationship, the often forgotten upside is that conflict often demonstrates willingness to engage in the relationship. If you are willing to engage in conflict, you are interested in the outcome. Will you say something wrong? Sometimes, for sure. Will they make mistakes. Yes. Will damage occur during conflict. Perhaps. Despite the difficult parts of conflict, be encouraged, even just for a moment, that your partner's willingness to engage in conflict is often a move toward you. Journal Prompt: Why are you willing to engage in conflict?