Tribute

I shared the following for the funeral service for Donna. Thank you to all who attended and helped us celebrate her life…

I am Brooke Bickert, daughter-in-law to Donna Bickert, a.k.a. Boosh.

The first time I had a sit down conversation with Boosh, was when I was 17. Then, for only a short time she was Mrs. Bickert to me. She asked me to come over shortly after her son deployed to Iraq for the first time. I am fairly certain she was doing underground work for her son, the man I married 4 years later. She was strategic like that. But I didn’t mind, she was warm, kind, and expressed emotion openly.

Over the next few years I frequented the Bickert home as a friend of the family.

There’s something distinctly appealing about the Bickert home. If you have been there, you know. It’s open. People walk in the front door, usually without knocking. You often find a couple cuddling on the couch (who may or may not be sleeping) and watching reruns of Seinfeld. You would also know that food acted as their gateway to love. I don’t think I had visited once without being offered, a turkey sandwich, a glass of wine, fresh fruit, or some sort of gourmet appetizer Boosh was wiping up. Gosh, I was always surprised by the amount of on hand ingredients that woman pulled out of her pantry.

Far before I had become a Bickert, I experienced a strong sense of belonging she offered in her home.

Then, I became a Bickert.

Boosh became more than a friend’s mom, but rather another mother to me. My mother had passed a year before Eric and I got married. The timing of her integration into my life was quite meaningful. Her compassion, openness, and willingness to talk was necessary for my own personal healing. I thank you Boosh for years of remembering my mom with me. Your conversations about my mother and words of respect towards her meant so much to me. Thank you. My words acknowledging your life will be filled with similar expressions and respect.

Boosh and my mom were similar in many ways, but yet distinctly different in others. One being her openness to talk about things like emotions, sex, and bowel movements. The amount of humor that woman brought into these topics was amazing. I could talk to that woman about anything, truly, anything. It’s actually one of my favorite character traits she passed on to her son, my husband.

In the years I grew to know Boosh, I have a few distinct memories that made her mom for me that I would like to share. I want you to know, my life is different because of this woman.

The way she loved our children.

I have never in my life experienced the amount of attention upon the heart of raising children as I did with her. Boosh didn’t know the milestones our daughter went through, she knew the minute details in-between the milestones. She paid attention to her small changes within learning to pull herself up on chair; and the small advances she made towards crawling and walking. I don’t know if I have seen a more engaged woman, willing to sit at a child’s level and engage in an experience. Boosh, I want you to know that I am a different parent because of you.

And for our son Rory, she remembered with us. Boosh consistently acknowledged our son Rory. Her heart broke with us. She was there to grieve the loss of our son by keeping him apart of our conversations and memories. I need you to know Boosh, that made all the difference for me. My life was different because of this woman.

She honored adventure.

Her ability to support and honor adventure is something you will never replace. I am so thankful for her perspective on adventure. She wasn’t, here’s what you should do, she was willing to wait patiently and allow learning to occur through adventure. She leaned into adventure and knew the value of life experience.

For me specifically, one story comes to mind. This was the time she flew to Seattle to help move our belongings home and road trip back to Wisconsin after Eric deployed. The phone call went something like this, Me: Hey Boosh, I think I am going to head back Sunday, Boosh: Oh Brookie, you wouldn’t care if I flew out and came with you, right, I’ll leave tomorrow.  It was never an inconvenience, she so intentionally wanted to be apart of our journey.

I will never forget while packing up the Seattle apartment, cleaning up an unidentified bottle of chemicals that was smoking and burning the grass outside of our apartment. She just laughed and went with it. Of course she had 25 years of training on me of finding science experiments from her son. I was still getting use to it. Her summary was much kinder than mine. On that same trip, I will never forget our stop for BBQ and margaritas during a motorcycle rally in the middle of South Dakota, Sturgis. Yes, she made friends. That road trip was filled with the spirit of Boosh. You know you are with a special woman when you can talk nonstop for 30 hours home. I am different today because I experienced the way she honored adventure.

I have 15 years of stories. But today, I wanted to honor the ones most highlighted in my life; the way she loved our children and the way she honored adventure. I am so thankful to be apart of this family. I am honored to be a Bickert. This woman’s life impacted my soul. I am so grateful I was able to experience her love.