It’s normal to experience struggle, conflict and disappointment in relationships. Part of our human experience comes through interacting, working through and solving conflict with each other. What is less normal is investing time, research and planning into relationships. Today I want to connect with the idea that we all are not always instinctively good at doing relationships, just because we are in them. Further, I would like to propose that work and intentionality exist in the things we want to succeed in.
What comes natural to you in relationships?
For myself, it took me a few years (and a few good books) to learn how to approach my husband reasonably in conflict. I learned how to approach him about disagreement in a way that allowed conversation rather that it feeling like an attack. *I still work at. The point, it wasn’t natural. I had to learn something new. What I was doing, was not working. What came naturally to me wasn’t helpful in my relationship.
The point is, we shouldn’t be too surprised when parts of our relationship aren’t working and it requires more intentionality and focus. If we are too surprised, we are really saying, “being successful at relationships is something we don’t work at, it just comes natural.”
We are strategic in many places of our life.
How many of us have researched workouts for summer? How many of us plan strategically for business ventures? How many of us take hours planning vacations? How many of us spend time planning for the care of children or researching daycare options?
Time, intentionality and research come naturally to things we plan to be successful in.
Could we extend this effort to our relationships?
Being successful in relationships does not come naturally to most. And…that’s okay. Could I encourage you to consider the handling of relationships as similar to your workouts, business ventures, vacations and childcare? Perhaps, even prompt you to become more intentional about investing in your relationships.
Mental Health & Journaling 